Years ago, I joined a friend who was studying Kabbalah in an open house lecture. I was struck by a comment that even a single flame can penetrate an arena of darkness. Children look to light as a form of safety in the night and we give them night lights, or in our case, a turtle that projects blue light waving across the ceiling to soothe them into sleep.
For me, in recent years, my safety came in the form of mismatched headlights. Over the summers, Matt and I would often take separate cars when going to the farm. It is a 2.5 hour drive from Toronto and at times, our schedules would be different enough that we needed two cars to get back and forth to the city. The best for me, was when we could leave the farm together after dinner and I led with the 3 kids while Matt followed behind. For miles we caravan on a two lane highway while Ellie asked, “Is Daddy following us?” I tell her, “Yes, Daddy is following us.” As night wore on she continued to ask and I would continue to answer until she asked, “But how do you know Daddy is behind us? It’s dark!” “Because he has mismatched headlights. One is bigger than the other so I know his lights from all the others.”
As cars weaved in between us and Matt fell far behind, I would slow down so they would pass, until in the distance I caught those mismatched headlights again. When I did, I would give a signal through my brake lights that we were waiting for him and on we would go together all the way home.